The crowd boos and the contestant snubs his nose. I am, of course, talking about the hit reality TV series, American Idol (www.americanidol.com). No. I’m not a fan. My children are and they have successfully lured my wife and me into watching it for the last several weeks.

What amazes me is how repetitive Randy Jackson’s opinions are, how consistently meaningless Paula Abdul’s comments are,  and how accurate Simon Cowell’s opinions are. I am constantly disappointed when the contestant who has just finished performing waits for feedback and then, as he or she begins to realize the feedback is negative, responds with an attitude that says, “Well, if you don’t like me, you’re an idiot and I’m not listening!” Maybe it’s me, but I would think someone who is performing in public would seek out feedback (positive and negative) in order to get better.

Wait a minute. Those of us in business are performing in public and we do get objective feedback. Our clients are our judges and every day they vote with their feet. They either come closer or they walk away. When they walk away, do we carefully consider what they are telling us or does our attitude say, “Well, if you don’t like me, you’re an idiot!” I have actually heard many sales people call potential clients idiots (and worse) for not selecting them.

It is very difficult to get objective feedback. Most people don’t want to hurt our feelings. When they do give us feedback, they often filter it and colour it so that they don’t damage their relationship with us. “You were terrific!” might mean, “I hated what you did but I can tell you’re too fragile to hear the truth and I’m sure there’s someone, somewhere in the world, who might think you were terrific.”

When clients complain or silently walk away, we should seek them out and seek out what they are really thinking. It might be best to have an objective third party interview them in order to get at the truth of the matter.